Tuesday, July 17, 2007
deep thoughts (and an introduction)

as far as i know, i do not have cancer. i hurt for anyone who does, but i am especially sad to see a young mother fighting such a horrible disease. it is the most unfair. if you have been reading my blog for awhile, you know i am a christian. in fact, some may even call me pretty radical. i am not one to have a 'jesus lives' bumper sticker or anything like that, or even one to have the (sort of) subtle fish sticker for that matter. i don't really advertise my faith in any kind of way, because i have never been comfortable with that and also because, honestly, i usually find it obnoxious. i feel that faith is a private matter and not a show and if you have to tell someone who you are with a bumper sticker than maybe you need to work on who you are. okay, maybe that's too harsh. i'm not saying you shouldn't have one of those bumper stickers. if that is you, well then be you, but it is not me. when i am in a real conversation, i think people see who i am and what matters to me and that is how i like to share things like faith. lately i am feeling it is something i want share more loudly. (i don't know, maybe i am on the road to getting one of those aforementioned bumper stickers? yikes :) this year i have certainly learned that it is your beliefs that define you...yes, that is what i think...i think you are defined by what you believe. when hard times come, the real you, your depth, your heart is revealed. i think it can even surprise you to find out who you truly are, and it may surprise the ones around you too. do you know that on the night my nephew died unexpectedly and unexplainably in his sleep, i talked to my brother on the phone? right in the middle of our conversation he just stopped and started yelling at God. i was surprised, but i didn't blame him. he was experiencing every parent's worst nightmare. but what shocked me and what still shocks me is what my brother was yelling at God. he was screaming, "thank you." he said it over and over again. "thank you, God. thank you for giving me a son." i know my brother really well, but that is not what i expected to hear him say that night. he kept telling me how grateful he was to God for blessing him with such a beautiful little boy. whenever i think about that i cry. i will be forever amazed by those words at such a tragic moment...thank you. that night i found out who my brother really is and i am so proud to be related to him. and i wish attitudes like that were genetic. a few months ago i began reading a blog and found another person who has blown me away with a positive attitude and impressive faith. her words are so raw and so real that i wanted to share it with anyone who hasn't yet heard of it, and you know, it is over the top "jesus lives," but it is not a show, it is not hypocritical, it is not obnoxious, it is the true heart of a mom who has brain cancer. her name is heather. i hope you find her as amazing as i do. she and my brother are such inspirations to me. i only hope my own faith is big enough.

  posted at 4:20 PM  

At 6:22 PM, Blogger Belle-ah said...

(((hugs))) Thank YOU!

At 6:48 PM, Blogger paige said...

bethy..if i could email you vs putting this out there on your blog i would...i lost my husband to cancer. he was 36, a marathon runner, a best friend to many , a dad to three girls under the age of three & a christian. he loved the lord. so do i .
i know that i never felt more in the center of His will...in the center of His palm than during those awful days & mohths of watching him battle a horrid disease.
I know the lord loves me, he loved my first husband & he loves the three little girls who i wondered would ever know what an awesome daddy they had.
i believe bad things do happen to good people.
i believe we live in a sinful world .
does it make sense?> no
is it fair?> no
but one day when we stand face to face with a holy god we will see truly his love for us more clearly than ever.
do i believe i would ever ask god why?
heavens no, i will be too busy worshiping a holy god to dare ask Him why.
whew...all that & I don't have a bumper sticker either!

thank you for sharing your faith.
thank you for sharing the faith of your brother.
all he asks is that we have the faith of a mustard seed....

At 7:33 PM, Blogger Mrs. P said...

That was a beautiful post.

At 9:31 PM, Blogger Midwest Nest said...

Thank you. Amen.

At 6:06 AM, Blogger Ashley said...

thanks for sharing...such a lovely post from a particularly beautiful soul...you! can't wait to see this blog and be inspired. oh...and i have a rhinestone jesus fish on the back window of my suv. : ) i'm one of those people. love you. bless you.

At 7:04 AM, Blogger Meg said...

Much as I enjoy reading about your house and decorating projects, these posts are the best because we see so much of "you". Thanks for sharing your thoughts and directing us towards Heather.

At 7:37 AM, Blogger Kimba Rimba said...

Lots of hugs and prayers all around!

At 8:16 AM, Blogger SBCVandy said...

Your brother amazes me. I try myself to show my faith through how I live and not what I say, but I can honestly say I would love to be that strong in my faith.

At 8:26 AM, Blogger Libby said...

Thank you for this very beautiful and important post, Bethy. You always seem to get right to the heart of it.

At 10:10 AM, Blogger Lindy Lou said...

May God bless Heather and your brother for their courage and character. And may God bless you for your compassion and for your "little light" that is shining so brightly.

At 12:23 PM, Blogger Southern Sugar said...

thank you for sharing this post. i have a friend with young children who has brain cancer also and i have heard her thank God for helping her grow closer to him because of the cancer. she is a very special woman too. you can read her blog at kisherwood.blogspot.com

At 7:37 PM, Blogger Holly said...

Oh Bethy, I cried my eyes out while reading this last night. I haven't gone to Heather's blog yet, have to work up to that one. I can't seem to seperate myself, you know? Maybe I'm not supposed to seperate myself. Maybe I'm supposed to feel everything so deeply, I don't know. God bless your brother and his wife. Will they have more children? I have a good friend who's first child died of sids at a daycare, taking a nap, when she was 7 months old. It was so so horrifying. The wife was a basket case for over a year. They had two children later, but she was always so afraid of losing them. Their marriage did not survive, it just never recoverred from the loss of their sweet Abby. Anyway, I pray for your brother and sil. May God comfort you and your family through this still fresh tragedy. Sweet little baby.

At 9:57 PM, Blogger Ele at A Bit of Pink Heaven said...

So beautiful. I have felt all these things you are talking about, except for your brother's pain. You are a blessing in posting this beautifully written piece and yes, I have always felt my light should shine. I should not have to throw it on people. God Bless you and your family. You have a beautiful blog.

At 6:03 AM, Blogger Sue said...

What a lovely post. I have been drawn to your blog for some time now and even had you on my list of lovely places to visit. Now I know why, not just for your inspirational decorating posts but I was drawn to your quiet, sweet spirit.
Blessings to you and your family.

At 10:12 AM, Blogger Jolene George said...

Now I'm crying! We could all learn alot from your brother in the way he handled THE most difficult trial anyone could be faced with.
I believe people who have faith have such big hearts and the way they share it is by their example. That is how you are and how I am too. Everone is so different and have different comfort levels. I will go check out Heather's blog. I'm sure she has a wondeful spirit.

At 4:19 PM, Blogger Kellie said...

It's amazing how typing a few simple words in a computer can inspire such emotion. It was such a lovely post, yet heart-wrenching when we all read about the pain your brother and your family are enduring. Yet, you all still have such great faith, which I admire. I clicked over to Heather's blog and read all about her daughter's ordeal as well as some of her own health problems. Why could so much happen to one person? How do they find strength? Yet it is stories like these that teach and remind the rest of us about what is important and what to hold dear.
Thank YOU for such lovely words.

At 7:19 PM, Blogger MAllen said...

Thank you for such an inspiring post. You and your family are in my prayers. I agree with you completely, sometimes it is best to let your light shine and not hit everyone over the head with it. I always enjoy reading your blog. Blessings to you.

At 8:10 PM, Blogger hqm said...

Bethy...Such a beautiful post. And the timing restores my faith!!!
Thank you!!!!!!!!!!!!

At 7:05 AM, Blogger Paula said...

God is so great isnt he and he is always with us each and everyday!
Blessings my friend. Abide in his love.

At 11:43 AM, Blogger Susie Q said...

Oh Bethy...what an amazing post and one I sorely needed to read.

Your brother and sis in law are true inspirations and have been in my thoughts and prayers for a while now.

This post shows us a bit of your beautiful soul...

I recently read Heather's blog and was blown away.

God bless you...warm hugs always,

At 7:14 AM, Blogger Lallee said...

Beth, you need no bumper sticker. This is a beautiful post. May the One you and your brother have faith in continue to heal the loss.

May you have a rich time with your family this week.

At 10:08 AM, Blogger Allison said...

Thank you Bethy for the beautiful post.


At 7:04 PM, Blogger cammyk said...

Such beautiful words. Thank you. Cammy

At 8:50 PM, Blogger Lenne said...

Just came across your site. Gods word really can turn the world around. The older i get, the more i want to shout it too. Its awesome Christian brothers and sisters can be there for each other, without even knowing each other.

At 4:32 AM, Blogger HeatherJ said...

Thank you for this post. I read it a while back, and I just can't stop thinking about it. Your brother's faith is a beautiful thing.

I do mention my beliefs on my blog, but as a general rule I try to show my friends my faith by how I act and not mow them down with Christianity.



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