Monday, May 07, 2007
standing on the promises
when i was a little girl, i sang a solo in front of my whole church. one of those BIG churches. it was a total surprise to my parents, they didn't know i had been practicing this old hymn with the choir director. and i didn't know what i was singing, i was just eight years old. the song, "standing on the promises," was just a bunch of words to me. in my third grade brain, i remember imagining myself literally standing on something. i had trouble with the promise, how do you stand on a promise? well, i have since learned.
i grew up in the faith. i accepted it blindly. but through the years, i have actively sought it, questioned it, and received it. i used to think of my belief system as a set of rules. that was easy for me, i am good with rules - i follow them:) but i know now faith is not about rules. it is about an attitude of surrender. it is accepting the gift of life realizing i am not in control and being okay with that. it is about saying thank you for my freedom, now what can i do for you?
when my nephew died, my heart broke. in the unbearable sadness, i have come closer to the God i always trusted and i am so grateful for the promises i was raised to stand on. the promises that include how we are precious to the one who made us and that he is with us always. in grief these things are tested, and i know they are true. God has held my hand.
someday this world will end for me. but i believe. and that means i have been promised more than i can imagine.
"I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened, so that you may know what is the hope of His calling, what are the riches of the glory of His inheritance, and what is the surpassing greatness of His power toward us who believe." Ephesians 1:18-19